What I thought were my last seconds
by Princess Kam
Summary: Maxons thoughts before and during the raid on the castle, during the final elimination. Right before Maxon was about to make the biggest mistake of this life, the rebels raided the caste. Maxons thoughts in what he thought were his last seconds.
1. Chapter 1

**This is going to be a three part short story, so all be updating soon:):):) In the mean time you can check out my other stories:):):) THANK YOU for reading, following, favoriting, and reviewing.**

 **Maxon's Pov**

I was sitting in between America and Kriss in the Great room. We sat at a table above everyone else's. This was the day that I would be proposing.

I knew who I was going to pick to be my bride and I knew who I wanted to pick to be my bride.

I wanted America but I knew after last night I could never have her. It was all a lie. Everything she told me all those, I love yous. As much as I wanted them to be the truth, I knew they were lies. Like she said when she first got here, I'm not going to fall in love with you. She was right. She didn't love me but I loved her.

I can't believe she threw her whole future away in one second. She had me wrapped around her finger she could have ruled Illea, but her plans got messed up and she throw her future away. Our future. When I say he with the guard my heart shattered. So now I am stuck her between America and Kriss, one girl I love and the other I will have to marry.

I will have to chose Kriss if America is out of the picture. I don't love Kriss. She was a sweet girl but I don't love her. How could I fall in love with any other girl when America was in my life. Even now I knew, if I couldn't have America I would have to choose Kriss. She was the only girl left.

Did I still want to marry America? The answer to that question came to me as easily as breathing. Yes. Of course I did. I couldn't imagine a life without America but I guess I will have too. America betrayed me and I couldn't marry her if it was all a lie. I don't even know if all alone her plan was to make me fall in love so I chose her, but I will have to believe that she was just her for the crown. Yes, I can't pick America to be my bride, she was only it it for the crown, she will never love me , only love the power. Even if I loved her, I couldn't make her live a life where she didn't love the man she married. The man she will spend the rest of her life with should be someone she loves not someone she uses.

I wish America the best of finding a man she truly loves. Even if she did lie to me she still deserves someone. I just wish that person was me.

I look over and see America starring. I follow her gaze to the guard Aspen. So much pain goes through me. Having to watch her love another man nearly breaks me.

Wanting her to feel my pain I say, "Trying to arrange a time to meet later."

America already looked in pain even before I said that. I could see her fake smile, trying to keep it together until I propose and she goes home. Why is she in pain though. She doesn't love me or maybe she does. Maybe I was all wrong and she does love me. Maxon stop thinking like this, she doesn't love you.

"No," America answered, "of course not."

She looked even more pained than before. Maxon you should feel good. She is feeling the pain that you felt. But somehow I felt guilty.

Something drove me to hurt America even more because I then said, "It's not like it matters, Kriss's family will be here this afternoon for a small celebration and your will be here to take you home. They don't like for the last loser to be along. She tends to get dramatic."

I was being so cold. I don't know what drove me to do this to America. My America. I felt like this wasn't even me speaking.

Trying to make up for it a little bit I say, "You can keep that house if you want. It's been payed for. I'd like my letters back though." Even when I tried to make up for being so cold my words just make me sound colder.

Why am I feeling this way. This is supposed to be a happy day.

"I read them," America tells me, "I loved them."

I just laughed. She keeps feeding me more lies. Why can't she just stop making it worse.

"I don't know what I was thinking," I say

I did know what I was thinking. I was thinking that I loved America and wanted to be with her for the rest of my life.

"Don't do this, Please. I love you," America says and I can see tears in her eyes

I don't know why America kept saying that when we both knew it wasn't true.

She was getting to me so I gritted my teeth and said, "Don't you dare."

"You put on a smile and you wear it until the last second," I add

She tried to blink away tears and then gave a small smile. I so wanted to wipe away the tears and make her laugh right now. Make her happy but she isn't mine anymore so I can't do that.

"That will do," I told her, "Don't let that slip until you leave the room. Do you understand."

She just nodded looking so sad. Maxon, she is faking it you can't believe her and you won't. She's just trying to play on your emotions and get you back into her plan.

To make sure that I know I can't have her I tell her the biggest lie of all, "I will be glad when you're gone."

I don't know how I said it looking into her eyes. I could she her about to crumple and I was about to, too but I put on my fake smile that I was so good at and turned to Kriss my future wife. I can't believe that I just lied to My America, my dear, my won and only. She's none of those things now. She has been lying to you this whole time, she has torn you apart so much, Maxon, come on pull yourself together. Telling her a couple of lies shouldn't get to you, it's nothing compared to what she has told you.

I didn't really listen to Kriss. She just did all the talking while I pretended to listen. It was so hard not to look at America but I knew if I did I would give in.

All of a sudden I hear screaming...

 **Thank you so much for reading. Please follow favorite and reviews. Again this is going to be a really short three part story, so the rest will be out soon, in the mean time you can checkout my other stories:):):) I'm currently working on a story called The Prince.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you for reading, reviewing, following, and favoriting it means the world to me. Please check out my poll on my authors page and if you like this check out my other stories. If you want to keep updated about my work follow me on Instagram _princess_kam_**

All of a sudden I hear screaming. I look around seeing guards standing all around. Some starting to shot people. It was like an awful dream for seconds that left like minutes I couldn't figure out what was going on until I looked around once more seeing red around the guards arms, but those weren't guards I realized all too late. They were rebels.

Screams filled my ears as I looked around seeing may hurt or dead on the floor. As I scanned the room only seconds had passed but it had been all too late for Celeste who was died on the floor. The room went into chaos within moments and the panic seemed to make everything harder to understand. The people didn't know who to turn to now that the guards turned out to not be guards soon made the mistake of going near the false guards seeking protection but getting nothing of the sort.

Kriss didn't make anything better she was screaming and crying and I was trying to calm her down and figure out a way to get out of the room...Alive.

The next thing I know I see a rebel guard standing in front of us. America must have seen him first because she let out a little scream which made me look up and see that his gun was pointed at me.

I look over and meet America's eyes. I'm going to die and the love of my life thinks I hate her. I can't die like this.

I looked back up at the rebel with the gun pointed at me. He was laughing amused. Then it seemed he thought of something and he switched the target for his gun. Now the gun was pointed at America.

I didn't even think about what I did next. I had realized that I would die for anyone I loved and I LOVE AMERICA. I love America. I wanted to scream it but now was not the time. If I do die at least America will know that I love her but I wasn't going to die and neither was she. Not today. Not before she knew. I jumped. I jumped in front of America and took the bullet for her. As I flew in front of her I realized I was going to die, right here right now. At least I had done the ultimate act of true love.

In that moment I had realized that it doesn't matter if America lied to me. I believe her when she said there was nothing going on between them and that she loved me. If I make it out of here alive I will marry America. She will be my Queen. NO, when I make it out of here alive she will be my dear, dearest, one and only, whatever I want to call it. I am determined to make it out alive and I will marry her.

In a way I am a liar too. I was trying not to listen to my heart as it shattered when I saw America with that guard, but it didn't really shatter then or else it wouldn't be able to shatter a moment ago when I thought America was going to die in front of me. Now is not the time Maxon, you need to cut this psychological bullshit and make it out alive.

It wasn't really up to me right now whether I was going to be alive or not because I had jumped and the bullet flew ever closer to me. The bullet struck its target.

Pain was all I could think of in that moment. Then I heard it all, the screams, the gunfire, the agony. It all seemed to blend with the pain.

I heard people cheering like they had won, and I guess they had. They had shot the crown Prince but it wasn't over yet, I wasn't dead...Yet.

 **Part three to come. I am also trying to update my other stories so check that out and check out my Instagram for this fanfic account _princess_kam_**


	3. Chapter 3

**Please read the bottom note it is very important. Thanks for reading.**

A shot flew over my head, striking its target, the rebel who tried to kill America and I. My eyes sought out where it had come from, meeting America's guards eyes, for once I was thankful to see him. I tried to send a silent thank you but he was already off looking to shoot more people. He was standing over my America protecting her like I wanted to do, but couldn't right now. I just had to trust he would keep her safe for now. Then I would take over.

I crawled under a table and hid like a coward, but what else could I do right now I am in to much pain. I started going in and out of darkness as I tried to pull my leg under the table. My angels face appeared and at first I thought it was just me dying but then she started to speak.

"Oh Maxon," she cried, she tried to help the bleeding in my chest. While trying to stop the bleeding she just kept apologizing. At that moment I stopped going into the blackness, America was with me and it was not safe. I needed to keep her safe, get her into a safe room then I could go back to dying.

I quickly realized that I couldn't be the one to help her get to a safe room. That damn officer better come back quick for her. Well if I had a minute before I blacked out forever I was going to let her know how I felt.

I first tried to sooth her by apologizing for my mistakes.

"Don't talk right now, just focus, ok?" I was going to start crying if I wasn't already. She didn't even care if I admitted to my mistakes she just needed me alive. How had I ever doubted her love. God I was so stupid for it all, it was her all along. I smiled at my love knowing I was going to start slipping out again soon.

"Break my heart, Break it a thousand times if you like. It was only ever yours to break anyways," at this point we both were crying. I meant every word I said. She was everything to me.

My princess tried to get me to quiet down again to save my breath but she was worth every moment no matter how much pain it was causing me for how with each word I almost sunk away into the blackness, but I didn't she kept me grounded to this world, never wanting to leave as long as she was there.

"I'll love you until my very last breath. Every beat of my heart is yours. I don't want to die without you knowing that."

"Please don't," she pleaded with me to stay with her and I thought I could, I thought I really could stay alive just for her but the pain started to take over again. I knew I was going to die but I have to give my love at least I little hope if i had none left.

I bought my hand to her hair and tugged her forward just slightly, she knew what I wanted. We kissed for what seemed like an eternity but at the same time was all too short.

As we broke away my love seemed to cry out, "Don't give up Maxon. I love you, please don't give up."

My breathing was becoming worse and the pain was becoming all consuming it was hard to even think when Officer Ledger came under the table with us, someone seemed to scream but my mind had no time to register who.

Officer Ledger started talking to me saying he needed to get me safe but I wouldn't take it. God why was he even trying couldn't he see I was a waste of time.

"Take her, thats an order," I said with every last ounce I had in me. He stared at me and I stared back needing him to save her. I could hear her protests, how she wouldn't leave me. She tried to cling to me but the officer pulled her off.

I grabbed him needing him to know one thing, "She lives. Do you understand me she lives. Whatever it takes, she lives."

I didn't even hear a creepy, just saw America swimming in and out of my vision as she screamed in protest. Always the fighter, the thought made me smile as I seemly slipped back into blackness.

 **Ok I lied there is going to be another part to this story so keep a look out. As always thanks for reading.**


	4. Chapter 4

**After going over this story I think I liked where I left it, so there will be no more chapters.** **Sorry if you were waiting for more but I feel as if it is a good ending without all the stuff you know about yadda yadda I love America I want to Marry her. THANK You for everything as always. See you soon**


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